The love story of two people torn apart by sickness and a global pandemic.
Gloria & Phil Ault.
Before they met, they were young adults living separate lives not aware of what their lives would become. Their paths collided whilst they were both dancing separately, at Blackpool Tower Ballroom. It was their mutual love of dancing that brought them together. Gloria was 18 and Phil was 21 and it was 1951. A year later June 14th, 1952 they got married and their epic love story began. Between them they have lived a lifetime of memories some people only dream of making. Many houses, many occupations, and multiple flights across the world. The pair had two children (Jenny & Adrian). When they were younger Phil worked as an engineer and the family relocated their lives to America. After this job ended Phil moved the family back home but again his work moved them back to America. Gloria was the kind of lady who made friends through her food, sharing her English recipes with people. They moved back to England and Jenny and Adrian grew up as they provided for their family as a couple. Both children got married and Jenny gave Gloria and Phil their three grandchildren.
The couple were travelling fans, collecting friends along their way and enjoy their time together. Tenerife being one of their favourite places to return. As they got older illness began to creep in to their once happy, travelling lives. Medical professionals realised that Gloria was suffering from a heart condition and needed a triple heart bypass. The first big operation she encountered. She was younger then, she recovered well and was given a new lease of life. Following that she had knee replacements. Her husband was always their bed side when she woke up and constantly burning beans on toast when he was looking after her. They would laugh sharing their adventures at family gatherings and they would always be arguing about how Phil could not find what Gloria was asking him to get.
The couple have always taken things in their stride celebrating wedding anniversary after anniversary. Now this story is going to fast forward to 2014. Gloria happily celebrated her 80 birthday with Phil by her side. Their family had noticed that Phil was getting more and more forgetful as time went on. He was falling over a lot, losing his balance and was told he had suffered a mini stroke (known as a TIA stroke). A few years went by and Phil kept telling Gloria he was on holiday and Gloria would say “don’t be silly we’re at home.” As the illness crept in, they had one last coach trip holiday to Eastbourne and basked in the sea view from their room. Enjoying their final holiday together.
Their Granddaughters were studying for their degrees, their Grandson learning new skills at different jobs. Their daughter juggling many jobs to provide for her family. Gloria and Phil were the proudest people of their family. The family were not surprised after watching Phil deteriorate that he was eventually diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. One memory that sticks in Gloria’s mind is one family Christmas where she’d spent all this time making wonderful mince pies, to only have her husband sit at the table and ask “these are nice, who made these?.” His whit remained despite his illness.
Gloria loving her husband as much as she did, took on the role of becoming his full-time carer and spent her days looking after Phil, providing him with whiteboards telling him what they were doing each week. Scheduling every hospital and doctor’s appointment. They were the classic example, of you would do anything for the person that you love.
Sometimes you love someone so much you put your own health at risk. This exactly what Gloria had done despite her own health conditions, she powered on through caring for her husband. She was a stubborn lady, would not accept help. This was till Gloria suffered four heart attacks in 2018. Her family spent time in the hospital convinced this was the end for Gloria after her eldest Granddaughter was told to say goodbye. Phil’s family took him to see Gloria, his Granddaughter looked after him. When she did, she realised how hard it must have been for her Granny to look after him. Forgetting where she was every minute and questioning why no one told him where she had gone despite being there when the ambulance arrived. Phil was placed in emergency respite care. When Gloria was out of hospital her Granddaughter looked after her. It was too much work; she was still so ill. Gloria went to a nursing home and the pair were separated. Again, by illness. Although, Gloria and Phil could communicate with one another.
After Gloria had recovered from her heart attacks despite being weak, Phil returned home, and they were reunited. They had care provisions put in their home, but Gloria again was stubborn and was still caring for her husband. This is the part of their epic love story that may break your heart as much as it is currently breaking theirs.
January 2020, Phil got diagnosed with blood cancer. Gloria called a family meeting regarding his treatment. She asked, “would you want to stay at home or go to hospital?” and he replied, “at home.” In her diary at the time she had written she was struggling. Prior to this her eldest Granddaughter had popped in to see them both a week before, Gloria mentioned she had not been feeling too well and kept suffering from headaches. Her Granddaughter had advised going to hospital, but she refused. Gloria was adamant if she went, she would be kept in and she was worried about who was going to look after her husband.
After knowing Phil wished to stay at home and not receive treatment for his cancer diagnosis Gloria powered on regardless of feeling so poorly and drained herself. Four days after her husband’s diagnosis Gloria suffered from a stroke. Luckily, her daughter visited them every Wednesday and knew when she arrived that her Mum was not herself. Phil’s illness meant that he had not noticed and just thought she was tired. Gloria has not been the once happy lady she was. Her stroke was the worst one the medical professionals had yet to see. Even though Gloria, had her mobility and cognition affected she spent time in intense therapy.
Their family decided that Phil needed to be placed in a home and he was taken to the most fantastic care home in Derby. Where he made friends and could not be happier. Phil was taken to see Gloria and they spent valentine’s day together. Phil reunited with his wife once again at her hospital bed side and the first thing he did was try to get up out of his wheelchair to kiss her. The Alzheimer’s may make his memory weak, but he knew she was ill, and he wanted to help her. He asked, “are you sure there is nothing I can get you”. The photo below was them on valentine’s day. To say seeing them together broke my heart is an understatement.
Not only was this happening to them, but the hardest part was yet to come for Gloria and Phil. A global pandemic hit the nation like a tornado. A tornado that was going to tear this couple apart. A dreaded phone call from both the hospital and the care home “no visitation due to the coronavirus”. Gloria was later moved to a nursing home after nearly five months in hospital. Gloria and Phil have now not seen one another since 14th February 2020. Both Gloria and Phil’s health are deteriorating. They attempted a skype call but due to their age and their health neither of them quite understood. They celebrated their 68th wedding anniversary and Gloria often states how much she misses him and how she just wants to see her husband. Phil will continue to ask if she is okay.
Gloria and Phil at their ages of 90 and 86 have been torn apart by illness and a pandemic. Their love for each other is demonstrated by the vows they made to each other, “In sickness and in health.” A story that highlights the essence of true love. As a family we are hoping that Gloria and Phil will meet again.
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